01 Sweden
B: I love the line “dina tårar blir en spegel av den ensamhet som jag känner”.
A: This is as solid as can be without being super-attractive. Worth a second listen though.
V: I hadn’t realised Roger Pontare was already showcasing his indigenous roots here, probably because it’s so much more toned down than it was in 2000. (Well, slightly more.) Marie Bergman looks like she’s about to devour her microphone, or perform an In Bed with Madonna demonstration with it. Wonderful harmonies and blend of voices.
02 Finland
B: I suppose 'CatCat' seems like a clever play on words when your surname is Kätkä.
A: Credit where it’s due: they tried doing something modern.
V: How much more impressive and effective this might have sounded if they’d considered a programmer an instrument and not tried to orchestrate the whole thing. The intro sounds so weak, like all the life has been sucked out of it (which it has), and the dancers look like they’re off in their own little world, one which bears no resemblance to the one we’re aurally part of. Virpi and Katja's rubbish choreography and outfits don’t help matters, either. As per the majority of Finnish entries, it doesn’t really deserve the result it gets, but you can understand why it got it. It sounds completely old-fashioned, even though it’s the opposite.
03 Ireland
B: What does “I was yours and you were mine” mean in the context of these two singing it to each other reminiscing about being 16-year-old boys?
A: Wonderfully rich composition for something so minimalist.
V: I’m blind to why this won so overwhelmingly; I assume the majority of jury members were the same age and in the same melancholic frame of mind. It’s certainly very accessible. It sports more great harmonies, too, and looks relaxed and effortless... So I guess I’ve solved that conundrum then. I love the look the guitar one gives when he (almost?) fumbles a chord. He has a distinctly Irish set to his mouth.
04 Cyprus
B: I’d never bothered to unearth the lyrics to this until now. Bloody good, aren’t they? “Tremis san pedhi mipos s’ anakalipsun / Vazis ti stoli na mi s’ angiksune / Ta ‘pos’ ke ta ‘yiati’” – brilliant.
A: Relentless. Tremendous. Hard to believe it’s from the same composer as the banal Gimme.
V: Look at all that floppy ’90s hair! Evridiki’s performance is very well attuned. A bit melodramatic perhaps, but who can blame her. A second 11th place finish must have disappointed them.
05 Iceland
B: “Allt það sem enginn sér” is an oddly Icelandic concept that pops up in several of their entries. Well, two. That I can remember.
A: Very experienced team behind this, and another solid production, but more immediately likeable than Sweden.
V: Great backing vocals, which play a huge part in the success of this performance. How can I not love it though when Sigga and composer Friðrik Karlsson were (at least partly) responsible for Nei eða já? I love the way the host refers to them as “Sigga and friends” like it’s some Icelandic kids’ TV show. Mind you, she does look a bit too eager to prove she’s enjoying herself. She should be, with a voice like that! It’s easy to forget that after Finland and Germany, this is about as upbeat as it gets in 1994.
06 United Kingdom
B: Borderline pretentious lyrics here in lines like “Can’t you see the piece of dust / That crumbles in your hand is me”. Then again, it has lines like “...through the clouds and rain / Love has come to stake its claim / In an ugly way” as well.
A: The extended studio version has some sublime moments that don’t all make it onto the Dublin stage, but overall the balance is right.
V: This sounds so good live – you can tell it was composed that way. I’m not sure what Frances Ruffelle has come dressed as. That is perhaps the song’s weak point: it’s wonderful but perhaps a little too highbrow for its own good. Great ending though.
07 Croatia
B: “Za ljubav se bori / A ja nemam snage.” Poor bastard.
A: In hindsight, this sounds like a different song when played by the orchestra: it brings out and highlights a lot of sounds that aren’t as evident in the studio version.
V: Toni really goes for it, but the whole thing feels like it’s out of another era. His backing vocalists seem to be interpreting the silence at the beginning with their own mystical choreography, too. Still, they’re rather good.
08 Portugal
B: Brought to you by the same lyricist as Amor d’água fresca, and you can sense it in lines like “Esta noite vou servir um chá / Feito de... / ...aromas que não há”.
A: This is a fairly ordinary ballad, and yet...
V: ...it’s amazing how gripping someone standing still can be when they’ve got a voice like Sara Tavares’, which raises the song into the ranks of something truly magical. It’s testament to the quality of the performances this year that her wobble in line 4 of verse 1 is about the only weak point of the entire night.
09 Switzerland
B: I like the final lines: “Risplenderà une luce per quelli che sapranno / Cercare il sole nell’oscurità.”
A: Speaking of ordinary ballads, it’s the Swiss entry. Well, more of an anthem really, and not nearly as run-of-the-mill as most of Switzerland’s Eurovision output.
V: The orchestration is fantastic and sounds massive – something Duilio clearly draws on. His voice is not all that easily taken to though; it’s very Italian. Great piano.
10 Estonia
B: I love the back-handed compliment inherent in someone being ‘more loyal than a shadow on a white night’ (“valgel ööl... varjust truum”) almost as much as I love the camp assertion “tean mõnda, mida sa ei tea”.
A: To my mind, Ivar Must produced a very competent piece of music here that makes the most of its allotted three minutes. And yet it just doesn’t grab you, does it? It tries hard to, first in the bridge and then as it spirals towards its inevitable conclusion, but never quite manages it.
V: Purple was not a good colour scheme for this song. The postcard clearly shows that Silvi should never give up singing in favour of acting (and thank god she never did, bless her). I’m glad they chose amber as imagery for Estonia’s debut proper rather than, say, blood sausages.
11 Romania
B: “Nopţi fără vise, întrebări fără răspuns / Imi trezesc din amintire sufletu-mi ascuns” pleases me.
A: Dan Bittman’s voice is absolutely perfect for this song. To me it remains probably the classiest of Romania’s entries to date.* The first two minutes are sublime.
V: Live, it’s when it all gets a bit shouty towards the end that it’s make-or-break time. It does it for me, but clearly not for the juries. The outfits alone are enough to tell you it’s a mid-’90s Eastern European entry. Having said that, I like the Roma influence on Dan’s. If that’s what it is?
*I wrote that back in about 2010, but my opinion hasn’t changed since.
12 Malta
B: “Please God, hear me now / You gotta help me!”
A: This is just so Maltese, from the sentiment to the dodgy English.
V: I hate how uncomfortably deep Moira has to go on the line “Of promises and dreams”. The performance is otherwise good, as are they all, but very little about this shines. Plus Chris & Moira were behind Believe’n Peace, so...
13 The Netherlands
B: The pairing of “Waar is de zon” with “Jij bent de zon” is simple but effective.
A: The arrangement is very cleverly tethered to the lyrics.
V: I adore the way Willeke is the incontrovertible centre of things here. She sings so beautifully and makes it seem so effortless. What the ORF commentator says about her is true: she’s a professional through and through. Unfortunately, the Netherlands picked a brilliant performer and a totally forgettable song, something they’ve been accused of in more recent times as well. It’s delightful, but so easy to overlook.
14 Germany
B: Fnaar at “Am besten alles und nicht bloss irgendwas” and “Um so länger, um so lieber...”.
A: This is much more of a party song than the Finnish entry, which is why it works. Even with that guy who says “...dance!” Ugh.
V: And here we’re into early ’90s western ‘fashions’. Hideous. Virtually everything about this is wrong, but somehow it all works, like a thousand ill-fitting components coming together to form something that functions perfectly. This does sound like the programming survived intact, regardless of the drummer, so I wonder if Finland were given the option after all but made the enormous mistake of choosing the orchestra?
15 Slovakia
B: I love the insistence in the line “Vieš že ti vraví-tak sa vráť, vráť, vráť”!
A: Terrific harmonies, and another great arrangement.
V: The girls have the least hair on stage, but they do have mighty shoulder pads. I love the way the drummer sings along in the background. Martin Durinda and his group really make this work – you get a sense of what’s at the heart of the song and how positive it all is. I hope there’s room for it in my top 10 at the end of all this**, if for no other reason than it’s Slovakia, who I’ve always felt a bit sorry for.
16 Lithuania
B: It’s fantastic that a line as daft looking as “Tik tavo toks gilus dangus” translates as something so charming.
A: I think the problem here is that lullabies are not meant to feature electric guitars. Ovidijus is rough enough around the edges himself without tipping the balance that the inclusion of said guitar is a step too far. In every other respect it’s lovely, with some far more appropriate and beautiful strings.
V: While those leather trousers are truly awful, nothing in 1994 was worth nothing.
17 Norway
B: “Gjennom is finner sangen vei / Til en elv dypt inni meg...” Certainly hits the spot for me.
A: What with composer Rolf Løvland also being behind La det swinge and Nocturne, and Elisabeth Andreassen making the top 10 in each of her four appearances, you wouldn’t think there would be much chance of this going wrong: and it doesn’t. She has a voice I could listen to all day. Yet more fantastic harmonies. Where Sweden works less well as a duet, this succeeds because it’s so much bigger and more emotional. Textbook stuff, without coming across as hackneyed.
12 Malta
B: “Please God, hear me now / You gotta help me!”
A: This is just so Maltese, from the sentiment to the dodgy English.
V: I hate how uncomfortably deep Moira has to go on the line “Of promises and dreams”. The performance is otherwise good, as are they all, but very little about this shines. Plus Chris & Moira were behind Believe’n Peace, so...
13 The Netherlands
B: The pairing of “Waar is de zon” with “Jij bent de zon” is simple but effective.
A: The arrangement is very cleverly tethered to the lyrics.
V: I adore the way Willeke is the incontrovertible centre of things here. She sings so beautifully and makes it seem so effortless. What the ORF commentator says about her is true: she’s a professional through and through. Unfortunately, the Netherlands picked a brilliant performer and a totally forgettable song, something they’ve been accused of in more recent times as well. It’s delightful, but so easy to overlook.
14 Germany
B: Fnaar at “Am besten alles und nicht bloss irgendwas” and “Um so länger, um so lieber...”.
A: This is much more of a party song than the Finnish entry, which is why it works. Even with that guy who says “...dance!” Ugh.
V: And here we’re into early ’90s western ‘fashions’. Hideous. Virtually everything about this is wrong, but somehow it all works, like a thousand ill-fitting components coming together to form something that functions perfectly. This does sound like the programming survived intact, regardless of the drummer, so I wonder if Finland were given the option after all but made the enormous mistake of choosing the orchestra?
15 Slovakia
B: I love the insistence in the line “Vieš že ti vraví-tak sa vráť, vráť, vráť”!
A: Terrific harmonies, and another great arrangement.
V: The girls have the least hair on stage, but they do have mighty shoulder pads. I love the way the drummer sings along in the background. Martin Durinda and his group really make this work – you get a sense of what’s at the heart of the song and how positive it all is. I hope there’s room for it in my top 10 at the end of all this**, if for no other reason than it’s Slovakia, who I’ve always felt a bit sorry for.
16 Lithuania
B: It’s fantastic that a line as daft looking as “Tik tavo toks gilus dangus” translates as something so charming.
A: I think the problem here is that lullabies are not meant to feature electric guitars. Ovidijus is rough enough around the edges himself without tipping the balance that the inclusion of said guitar is a step too far. In every other respect it’s lovely, with some far more appropriate and beautiful strings.
V: While those leather trousers are truly awful, nothing in 1994 was worth nothing.
17 Norway
B: “Gjennom is finner sangen vei / Til en elv dypt inni meg...” Certainly hits the spot for me.
A: What with composer Rolf Løvland also being behind La det swinge and Nocturne, and Elisabeth Andreassen making the top 10 in each of her four appearances, you wouldn’t think there would be much chance of this going wrong: and it doesn’t. She has a voice I could listen to all day. Yet more fantastic harmonies. Where Sweden works less well as a duet, this succeeds because it’s so much bigger and more emotional. Textbook stuff, without coming across as hackneyed.
V: Incredibly strong performance.
18 Bosnia and Herzegovina
B: “S tobom sam sretno djete / Mada tako ti ne izgledam” makes you wonder where the song’s heading.
A: This is hardly ground-breaking stuff from Bosnia, but it doesn’t sound quite as dated (for a change) as, say, Croatia.
V: An awful lot is made of the orchestration here which is almost indecipherable in the studio version. Harmonies play a huge role again, and our duo really deliver. Alma Čardžić is giving something of a Japanese school girl aesthetic. Dejan, meanwhile, is so deafened by the reception he receives that he’s unsure whether to start singing. It’s really quite moving.
18 Bosnia and Herzegovina
B: “S tobom sam sretno djete / Mada tako ti ne izgledam” makes you wonder where the song’s heading.
A: This is hardly ground-breaking stuff from Bosnia, but it doesn’t sound quite as dated (for a change) as, say, Croatia.
V: An awful lot is made of the orchestration here which is almost indecipherable in the studio version. Harmonies play a huge role again, and our duo really deliver. Alma Čardžić is giving something of a Japanese school girl aesthetic. Dejan, meanwhile, is so deafened by the reception he receives that he’s unsure whether to start singing. It’s really quite moving.
19 Greece
B: Yet more backhanded compliments here: ‘your breath smelled good when you kissed me’!
A: I suppose this is more upbeat than Iceland actually, and even gives Germany a run for its money in terms of getting people up and going for it. It couldn’t come from anywhere other than Greece – even from Cyprus it would seem like they were copying. Completely authentic then, and easy to get into.
V: And yet it maintains an odd distance that tends to negate lines like “Stis agalias su to apanemo limani / Erixa ayira ospu rothise i avyi”. Seeing the drummer in his football kit (or whatever sport it is) makes the postcard for Greece my favourite of the contest.
20 Austria
B: I hate the way they repeat the line “Dafür singe ich euch dieses Lied” as if they’re really out to achieve something. Having said that, the last three lines are unexpectedly good.
A: Cheesy anthem.
V: The sound mix on this isn’t the best, with the music drowning Petra out for most of the first verse. She puts in a competent performance, if a bit static, and clearly the most nervous of the evening: relief is written all over her face at the end.
21 Spain
B: I wonder whether “Ella es la otra, la que me excita / Y quema mi ropa” points to some strange courting ritual they have in Spain. It must get expensive. And cold.
A: This is totally lush in the way the orchestra is offset by the acoustic bits.
V: Alejandro Abad looks a bit odd from some angles, but I find him surprisingly sexy, given he’s not at all my type. There’s something about the way he never quite sounds like he’s pronouncing his words properly, and I love the little finger thing he does on the line “No, ella, ella no es ella” in the middle of the first chorus. Lovely arrangement.
22 Hungary
B: “Könnyek nélkül sírok / A meg sem született gyermekemnek” looks so clumsy as a bridge but sounds so right.
A: I have died and gone to heaven: you can hear every squeak and slide on that guitar; every imploring cry from that oboe; and every gloriously clear and pure note coming out of Friderika’s mouth. And that’s just the studio version.
V: It does not get any better than this.
23 Russia
B: The chorus here is a perfect example of how to turn some very clunky-sounding Russian into something wonderful.
A: If the entire song here was like the verses I’d rate it even more highly, but I still love it.
V: The live version is a tremendous summary of the best bits of the much longer studio version, and is noticeably more uptempo. Youddiph deserved to be massive, but she was completely unknown in Russia before Eurovision apparently, and disappeared back into obscurity after it. Cruel, when this is such a vocal powerhouse and such an acoustic and orchestral masterpiece. And what a fucking fantastic costume!
24 Poland
B: The insistence on using only Polish words that made it not sound very Polish seems cynical, but it sure works – the language has never since sounded so beautiful.
A: This run of songs forms the nearest Eurovision equivalent to a multiple orgasm I have ever experienced. Is it coincidence, do you think, that they all predominantly feature oboe? (He said; it could be cor anglais for all I know.) Edyta Gorniak has another crystal voice, but with such power, too. Phenomenal.
V: That last bit is one of the best in the contest’s history. This is another beautifully orchestrated piece, nothing of the papierowa marionetka the lyrics might suggest it is.
25 France
B: The lyrics here are brilliant, with lines like “J’vais pas rentrer chez moi, lui raconter pourquoi / Pourquoi j’aurais pas dû et comment j’ai pu” standing out for me. I wonder what the EBU would make of her putaining all over the place these days. Alright, she only does it the once, but still. It’d probably go unchecked, just because it’s not in English.
A: Another fantastic song from France. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how accomplished it is as a piece of music: I just know that it is.
V: An unrivalled performance here, in the truest sense of the word, with the added benefit of being well lit and directed. And choreographed: I love the way they all end up back in the same places they started. These last four entries must represent one of the highest-quality runs of songs and performances in Eurovision history.
And so to the points...
1 point goes to Cyprus
2 points go to Germany
3 points go to Romania
4 points go to the United Kingdom
5 points go to Norway
6 points go to Iceland
7 points go to Russia
8 points go to France
10 points go to Poland
and finally…
12 points go to...
Hungary!
The wooden spoon is awarded to Austria.
**Almost but not quite (it ended up 12th)
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