1993

Quite a decent year on the whole. My final 25 might just about have included all the semi-finalists ahead of some of those we did get.

01 Bosnia and Herzegovina
B: All the pain in the world, and you can feel it. Unflinching, grimly beautiful lyrics. Slovenia – probably because it was sidelined in the conflict – eschews navel-gazing for something lighter, but Bosnia didn’t really have that luxury.
A: That said, the chorus here is surprisingly uplifting. Morbid, but uplifting.
V: It’s all very primary colours in Ljubljana, isn’t it. Wonderful vocals, given there’s only three of them doing the singing. I got all excited in a nostalgic kind of way at the beginning there to see the quintessential Bosnian keyboard make an appearance so early on in the piece. [Meanwhile, in Millstreet…] Could have done without the choreography, but I like the echo.

02 Croatia
B: “Tisuće snova dalekih, ruža u srcima zaspalih” makes a lovely opening line.
A: They obviously meant well, but I can’t stand the cheap music box sound of this, and it’s all hopelessly repetitive.
V: I wish the vocals were as coordinated as their outfits in everything but the chorus. The last bit is quite nice though. [Somewhere in Ireland...] Pater Čučak is hot! No wonder he gets a close-up so soon in the piece. Collectively, they still sound ragged in the verses.

03 Estonia
B: It’s not often you get lines in Eurovision like “You can take all my gold necklaces and bracelets and throw them down the well”. And very few Estonian entries have had lines which highlight the relative complexities of the pronunciation of the language as concisely as “Hallitab hõbe ja kahvatub kuld” what with all the palatalisation and such going on.
A: The woodwind, though appropriate, is ever so slightly irritating, as are Janika’s girly vocals. (The way she delivered them several keys lower live at Eurolaul 2002 blew me away, I hasten to add – her voice matured so much in the intervening years.) On the other hand, the acoustic backing is great; pity you only really get to appreciate it during the verses. The whole thing builds nicely.
V: There’s something fidgety and restless about the arrangement here that makes it feel like they all want to get it over and done with as soon as possible, Janika included. It’s only on the last note that she convinces you she can hold one. The audience’s lukewarm reaction says it all, sadly.

04 Hungary
B: I love the way Janika’s ‘bugger it, you might as well be chipper’ attitude is immediately smothered in Ms Szulák’s wet blanket of “Törékeny nekem a boldogság”!
A: Well, it’s very early ’90s. The vocal arrangement in the chorus eschews the line you expect it to take, making the whole thing slightly less dreary. It can’t really avoid this, of course, since it fits the morning feel of it right enough. The ending is lovely.
V: I’m not sure the injection of tempo into some of these songs to squeeze them into their three-minute limit is helping them much, especially here, where it makes the song feel less like the lonely morning of the title and more like the kind of morning where you sleep through the alarm and don’t even have time to notice that the bed beside you is empty. Andrea’s hair and nails are glamtastic in a very ’80s soap opera kind of way.

05 Romania
B: “Doamne, ce-a ajuns viaţa mea!” Gotta love a bit of melodrama. Middle-aged Eastern European women were clearly having a hard time of it in the early ’90s where snagging themselves faithful men was concerned.
A: The composition here is subdued for the most part, but the vocals are overwrought in a way I would only otherwise associate with Italy. The electric guitar was inevitable.
V: Strangely arresting for something without a real hook: it must be Dida’s theatrical delivery. She has a great voice, at least in terms of how powerful it is, and despite – or perhaps because of – how OTT the performance is, I’d probably have liked to see it in Millstreet. The way it feels musically is not all that far away from Dincolo de nori. (The camera wobble and feedback from the microphones are perfect, incidentally.)

06 Slovenia
B: I like the idea in “Kako dobro se zlivam v ta svet ... / ... ki ne obstaja”. Is the lead singer Italian?
A: I would have expected something more introspective with lyrics like those. The guitar’s great, as are the strings (needless to say). I much prefer the verses to the chorus, although it being more upbeat is spot on given the accompanying words. Nice instrumental ending.
V: The bright fashion and cheery choreography are a bit much, but there’s no denying this sounds completely different to everything else so far. Not that that necessarily makes it better, but it does stand out. The guitar-led bits could almost come from a Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe composition. [Elsewhere...] Sheesh, the outfits and lighting are even more garish.

07 Slovakia
B: Ha ha, how perfect is this after Hungary and Romania! “Láska je zázrak, ktorý sa koná bežne / Chalani sú z nej chorí” sounds like a Slovakian take on the hairy palms story.
A: I’m liking the guitar, but it soon descends into Eastern European soft-rock mediocrity. It fails to really go anywhere until the short-lived instrumental break and the introduction of the orchestra towards the end, when you finally get a sense of it making something of itself.
V: The prominence given to said orchestra from the off here boosts the performance, although the song still drags until there’s little more than 30 seconds left of it.

08 Italy
B: There was a lot of pain being shared in 1993, wasn’t there? Even Italy got in on the act. “Svegliaci, sole, facci sentire / Quanto dolore hai portato con te” could be from the Italian version of a Balkan entry.
A: Perhaps appropriately, this fails to really take off for me, although the arrangement is nice. Bar the electric guitar. And triangle.
V: There’s a wonderful easy confidence about this performance that grabs you from the outset. The orchestration is terrific and certainly lifts the song.

09 Turkey
B: “Zaten deliydim / Şimdi divaneyim” sums it up nicely.
A: This runs out of reasons to exist after a minute. I’d forgotten how popular saxophones were in the early ’90s. Very not-Turkish.
V: They can’t click in time, and the backing vocals are barely there, but they do their best to make something out of nothing. Magnificent ears on Mr Aydos, emphasised by the shades.

10 Germany
B: I like combining the lines “Hier ist unsere Wirklichkeit” and “Und was kam dann?”.
A: It’s that bland, echoey rock anthem that was so popular in the late ’80s. The strings would be wonderful if they weren’t synthesised. The chorus is not nearly strong or defined enough in a song striving for anthem status.
V: I bet Münchener Freiheit were all shoulder pads and way too much hair. [Checks] Well, the conductor is. The rest of them are comparatively restrained. As expected, this is rather underwhelming given its pretentions.

11 Switzerland
B: There’s a lovely couplet here in “Et si demain la chance m’appelle / Avant tout, je veux être moi”.
A: Strong chorus. The song verges on 1980s Whitney Houston, albeit without the sustained strength. It really needs to crank things up a notch at the end, but it doesn’t.
V: The crowd love it regardless, and I wouldn’t have minded another Swiss victory with it. I admire the way Ms Cotton just stands there and sings this: it fits the song perfectly.

12 Denmark
B: The chorus is a bit cheesy, but the verses offer up some great lyrics. I particularly like “Jeg sætter mig på kanten af din seng, og du... / ...virker ubeskriv’ligt lille” and “Hvor du end er i fantasi’n, vil jeg altid være her hos dig”.
A: The chorus is a bit cheesy musically and all. The whole thing sounds like an ABBA revival five years too early, only with a misplaced whistling solo. It’s very Swedish-sounding, and very catchy. I think I like it rather a lot.
V: There’s those ever-present backing vocalists again! (Until they weren’t anymore.) The way the arrangement here subtly changes the percussion renders it a bit more pedestrian, and I’m not sure it works as well as it does in studio. The way they’re laid out on stage is nice though.

13 Greece
B: I like the wake-up call these lyrics represent.
A: God, more synthesisers. And how! Bosnia would still sound like this five years down the line. This is another song that does little to distinguish its chorus, but it grows on you, in a cheap and cheerful kind of way.
V: The backing group might be dressed the same as the German lot, but they’ve got 10 times the energy, which makes it a shame that Ms Garbi is – to go all America’s Next Top Model for a moment – so dead behind the eyes. She’s got the voice, and she’s more or less got the moves, but what she’s lacking is an expression that makes you believe her heart’s in it.

14 Belgium
B: Oh the irony of “Dat is het nu juist wat ik bedoel”, as we shall see...!
A: I hope she smiled a lot, because she sounds miserable. [Waits a bit] Argh! How could they get it so wrong? Has someone just died!? You’d have no idea this was the most quintessential of love songs. Nice simple instrumentation at least. [Waits a bit more] Electric guitar!! :(
V: I’ve got no idea she’s pouring her heart out, so what’s the point?

15 Malta
B: “Ooh baby, when I’m alone with you... a holnap már nem lesz szomorú!” Hungary ’98, only slightly less depressing.
A: And without the mouth organ. Not the kind of music I like, to be honest, but it has a good, nay stand-out chorus, and I like the fact that it’s a man singing what would traditionally be a woman’s song.
V: Fine performance, even if the perm is a crime. I see he’s borrowed Fazla’s primary-green sports coat from the semi-final in Slovenia.

16 Iceland
B: “Ef leitarðu til mín / Þá veistu svarið” couches the whole thing effectively.
A: Deceptively odd-sounding but actually quite ordinary timing, and yet more saxophones. It’s quite attractive overall. Despite some forceful sounds, it still comes across as gentle and (appropriately enough) inviting.
V: Now the saxophonist’s got the green jacket! Maybe they only had one. Impressive vocals from Inga, when you can hear her. Was this something of a favourite? The audience seem to get very excited about it before it’s even begun.

17 Austria
B: Props for the sadomasochistic bridge.
A: Almost out of place it’s so upbeat. Fantastic (and at a pinch I’d even suggest real) strings stuck in the background. Terrible key change though, and it’s all a bit tired.
V: Tony Wegas sings this well, but the early energy quickly fades to nothing. The second backing vocalist from the left looks like Tüzmen.

18 Portugal
B: The slightly pissed excitement of the lyrics here is brilliant.
A: This is great, but needs to be about twice the speed. You could get some brilliant dance remixes out of it. I love the arrangement, the [almost hidden] layered key change and the vocal mix. All of it, really.
V: This is still great, and still needs to be about twice the speed. The backing vocals are amazing when you consider there’s only two people providing them, and Anabela’s vocals are effortless. She looks a bit like a children’s TV presenter who also happens to have a lovely voice.

19 France
B: I love the personification in “Elle est comme ses vieilles dames en noir / Qui portent en elles leur histoire”.
A: You can see why this did well for itself, even if it sounds like an ad for a frozen pizza. Mind you, the ingredients are all there and go together perfectly. The chorus seems a bit clunky, all the same, with odd gaps (representing the gulf between Corsica and the mainland?).
V: Ooh, he’s cute!* Pity about the shirt. Brilliant orchestration, highlighting every little nuance of the composition. Great vocals.

20 Sweden
B: “Vår kärlek den är värd ett högre pris” and “Det är inte lätt när man inte kan inse sina fel” are both sentiments I’ve shared at times in my life.
A: There’s no denying the fact that the Swedes know how to come up with an authentic-sounding retro tune. Could be endless other songs*. Strangely, you barely notice that it’s in Swedish.
V: Someone should tell Hugo Weaving the lead singer stole his mouth. Perfectly good performance of a fairly forgettable song.

*Including stuff from Melodifestivalen to this day that ISN'T Arvingarna

21 Ireland
B: Bland lyrics, but they get the point across.
A: Probably the strongest chorus so far. Apart from that, I don’t see much that sets this apart. Taut and together, but not my favourite.
V: All Niamh has to do is stand there and sing this, and that’s what she does. Maybe her feet were actually rather than just seemingly nailed to the floor?

22 Luxembourg
B: The opening lines are the highlight of what is a fairly naff set of lyrics.
A: This builds itself up to a killer chorus only to hold back, but that’s sort of in touch with the lyrics. The electric guitar is of course a no-no. I’d completely forgotten this song though and am [fairly] pleasantly surprised to remake its acquaintance.
V: They sound alright, but can’t have been far behind Barbara Dex in the, er, Barbara Dex awards. The performance underscores the way the song hedges its bets, allowing for a big orchestral arrangement but still being all drums and keyboards. You can kind of understand why Luxembourg gave up, watching it.

23 Finland
B: Great rhythm to “Kuunnellaan, katsellaan, kuljetaan”. The title is done to a very early death, but that goes with the rest of the lyrics: it’s now or never. (Never, in this case.)
A: Is this wilfully old-fashioned or just old-fashioned? The Finnish makes it sound even less contemporary somehow. It could be an entry from 20 years earlier.
V: Hmm, all a bit Willeke Alberti a year early.

24 United Kingdom
B: The words even read themselves to you with an accent from a bygone era. I’m picturing a dance at a Welsh holiday village.
A: Blessed pop relief after the previous 18 tracks. There’s not much going on in it musically, and it’s pretty much self-assembly, but worthy nonetheless of a podium finish.
V: I see they’ve got the usual array of newsreaders on backing vocals. The easiest thing to say about this performance is that it’s plain to see why it did so well, but just as understandable why it narrowly missed out.

25 The Netherlands
B: Any Eurovision song that opens with a verse full of driving instructions as metaphor deserves to win, frankly.
A: As solid a Dutch entry as most, with some great touches to the music and arrangement regardless of the very ’90s programming. The bridge is great, as is the ending, which is very much in touch with what the lyrics are saying.
V: Great vocals (and outfit) from Ms Jacott. The performance is so gloriously Dutch, right down to the backing vocalists and the slightly naff routine – which accounts for more movement in three minutes than we’ve seen all night.

26 Spain
B: “Todos los hombres son tan especiales / Que han conseguido ser todos iguales”! You tell it, sister!
A: Fabulous, obviously. Given the chance, it would have gotten every spurned woman’s and gay man’s televote. However dated it sounds now, it must have seemed frighteningly modern for middle-aged Eurovision. But what does it sound like?
V: My praise for this performance starts and ends with Ms Santamaría’s vocals, which come so easily that it almost looks like she’s miming. How could Finland see a song fall apart like this under the orchestra and still think Bye Bye Baby would be a good idea the following year? Don’t even get me started on the routine. “Es lo normal!”

27 Cyprus
B: I like the message – “Ki an ti zoi ti pligoni sihna i alithia / Mi stamatas” – if not the messenger.
A: Very beige.
V: There’s that green jacket again, on the back of the shiny-haired conductor! [Watches] It’s like they’re trying not to out-sing each other, so they don’t really sing much at all. Easily the most shifty-eyed performance of the night. My interest is momentarily peaked when they start making eyes at each other at the microphone stands.

28 Israel
B: These lyrics are quite meaningful in their own way, and could apply to a lot of places. Estonia for one had its Singing Revolution.
A: But it’s Israeli through and through, in the least appealing and most tedious way possible.
V: Unfailingly awful. At least the Swedes make choreography like that look natural. What’s with the switch to English at the end?

29 Norway
B: “Når du é blant dine venner / Og din trillande latter smelte min hud / Og du late som du aldri har sett meg / Du é som en fjern og kjølig gud / Ingen må se det, bare du og eg vett det” – how can anyone add to that? The honesty is almost overwhelming.
A: Glorious vocals, and the music is just so perfect. One of Norway’s best ever entries, and one of the strongest in the contest’s history if you ask me.
V: Cripes, not nearly the performance I was hoping for. For a start, what else do you have backing vocalists for if not to provide harmonies without the lead having to carry them? And this, of all songs, is not one you encourage the audience to clap along to. The first minute is bliss, but after that the frown lines pile on top of one another at an alarming rate :(


And so to the points...

1 point goes to Denmark

2 points go to Bosnia and Herzegovina

3 points go to Italy

4 points go to Spain

5 points go to Switzerland

6 points go to France

7 points go to the United Kingdom

8 points go to Portugal

10 points go to Norway

and finally...

12 points go to...


The Netherlands!


The wooden spoon goes to poor dear sad old Belgium.