1970

It’s like a desert island: Portugal ‘retiring’ prior to the contest (whatever that means – another highly political entry, as the lyrics would make it seem, but this time one that took a step too far perhaps?); Austria sitting it out for another year after consecutive disastrous results in 1967 and 1968; and Sweden, Finland and Norway missing, all out in their hissy fit after scraping together about 5 points collectively the previous year. Perhaps they were right to when the top two here account for almost 50% of the available points; 60% with the top three. It’s also interesting to note that while French songs, with the reduced numbers, make up almost half of the competition, they altogether managed barely more than 20% of the points. Love the stainless steel backdrop.

01 The Netherlands
B: Though nicely developed, the subject matter is slightly daft (as is the opening line!). Astrology was big back then, I assume.
A: Certainly airy, but I was expecting something a little more disco. Getting ahead of my time perhaps. Lovely harmonies: the vocals really draw you into it. The ending is a nice touch, since all the way through it hints at – and then builds up to – something bigger.
V: Some serious hair and eye shadow happening here. With the percussion being so low in the mix the choreography comes across as incongruous. Wonderful harmonies again.

02 Switzerland
B: While questionable in places – “ta douleur vaudra bien mon ardeur” comes across as insufferably arrogant, and if “Toi qui donnes l’amour mieux qu’une mère” is anything to go by I don’t want to hear about his childhood – these lyrics paint a pretty honest picture.
A: Nothing like I expected it to sound: I must have had their similarly monikered 1962 entry in mind. Is that sound effect meant to be a yapping dog? The approach to the music takes away from the gravitas of the lyrics: the whole pa-pa-pa thing undermines it for me, especially when the composition is so monotonous.
V: Legs up to here! Wish he’d use them more than just to bob about and mime occasionally, because the performance is far too static. He looks like he’s enjoying himself singing to me far more than I am watching and listening to him.

03 Italy
B: It’s funny how even in 1970 you can play Six Degrees of Separation with almost every song, reducing it to a less cumbersome One Degree before you start: this struck a chord with me, and so I did a bit of digging and discovered that it had been written by the same fellow who would go on to write Questo Amore in 1978. You can tell from the themes and the imagery alone. Typically for Italy it’s another grown-up story with no false modesty or pretence. I love the whole idea of “Occhi di ragazza, io vi parlo coi silenzi dell’amore / ...quanto male vi farete perdonare / L’acqua di una lacrima d’addio sarà l’ultimo regalo / Che da voi riceverò”.
A: Now here’s a song that knows how to hook me, with guitar, piano and strings all within the opening 10 seconds. The music perfectly captures the feelings that are played out in the arrangement, touching on the shameless inevitability of the situation whilst drawing on the beauty of it. Or something.
V: This is fantastic: Gianni makes lanky and awkward work for him in a way Henri never manages to. Great voice and performance.

04 Yugoslavia
B: Talk about the summer of love – Eva Sršen seems very ready to allow her cherry blossom to be deflowered. Typical Yugoslav economy in the [seven different lines of the] lyrics.
A: All very innocent of course, or made to seem that way by the orchestral arrangement (well, strings), which is lovely.
V: Does what it says on the tin, but neither the label nor the contents are particularly enticing.

05 Belgium
B: It’s interesting that Jean Vallée is in fact Paul Goeders: Flanders clearly had no love for him. Complete opposite theme here from his 1978 entry, which may explain why he came 2nd then and didn’t this time. I love the lines “Quelques larmes viennent de naître / Un peu d’amour qui s’enfuit” from the first verse.
A: This chorus tries very hard to be big, but as it’s so similar to something else and therefore has to watch itself, it never quite manages it. The backing vocals seem a bit of a throwback to an earlier era, even by 1970 standards. The overall impression the song gives in fact is one of being a bit dusty and forgotten.
V: I still feel like there should be a ‘pa-ra-pa-pam-pam’ somewhere in the verses. Jean has a fine command of his medium, which is a good thing, since at times his song threatens not to.

06 France
B: “Je ne veux rien savoir du reste du monde / La terre ne m’a jamais semblé aussi ronde” make for a great couple of lines.
A: I’ve just sat here for three minutes completely entranced. That beautiful arrangement, the hint of sadness that makes you suspect it’s all a dream... The quintessential ballad.
V: Love the frills – much better than his Bill Gates impression in 1983. Wonderful arrangement, and the vocals are flawless.

07 United Kingdom
B: “Sit and dream of how things might have been / And as I close my eyes, I get the strangest feeling...” that those were the days, my friend?
A: Such a perfect slice of music from the era: original Britpop. It sounds amazingly fresh and clear, and it’s simple and catchy without sacrificing quality. The composition is quite layered, in fact. I hope it was as huge a hit for Ms Hopkins as her Ukrainian pinch.
V: Boptastic. I’m glad her very black dress is at least sparkly.

08 Luxembourg
B: “Je suis tombé du ciel pour me pencher sur toi” – is that a metaphor, do you think?
A: I can understand why no one picked this as their favourite: it’s more than merely competent, but bog-standard at the same time. It could be one of a hundred Francophone Eurovision entries from the ’60s and ’70s. Mr Double-Barrelled Name’s delivery is also a bit insistent, even though (again) that’s right enough in context. The ending, needless to say, is pants.
V: Mr Kleerekoper wins the looker of the night award so far, and he certainly makes the most of a song that in itself offers relatively little.

09 Spain
B: Here’s another statistic: 25% of the songs in 1970 were women’s names! Perhaps not surprisingly, my favourite lines in this are “Conservo tu amor / Tan dentro de mí”.
A: Julio Iglesias has such a distinctive and seductive and expressive voice, really bringing out the emotion here. You feel it on lines like “Yo he buscado en mi alma queriéndote hallar / Y tan sólo encontré mi soledad”. It’s a bit too downtrodden for its own good though, the song, making it at times hard to listen to. Easy to watch, I imagine, but hard to listen to.
V: [Watches] Can’t fault the voice, obviously, and the audience are clearly up for it; still not sure I am. The blue of Julio’s outfit is more shocking than the pink of the backing vocalists’ pantsuits.

10 Monaco
B: Gold star for use of the word ‘langoureusement’.
A: With music written by Brits and lyrics by a Frenchman this is a typically outsourced Monegasque entry, but a fairly successful one. The voice is right, and certainly goes well with the music. But as usual with such songs (and most of the principality’s output) it comes across as pastiche and you struggle to take it seriously, hence my use of ‘fairly’ above. It does earn points for being unpredictable and completely different to everything else on offer.
V: Sister Dominique? She looks like a nun in a sparkly miniskirt. I can’t believe she was only 16 – especially with that “cheveux frisés comme un mouton”. Neither the song nor the performance do anything for me. Perhaps you had to be there.

11 Germany
B: I like the idea of accusing someone far too miserable without real reason of “Fangen mit dem Leben viel zu wenig an / Dabei steht das Glück schon vor der Tür”.
A: This throws us headfirst into the ’70s: the organ bits sound like incidental music from The Brady Bunch. It’s a million miles from Zwei kleine Italiener in any case, although it comes from the same composer. The vocal arrangement is excellent. The music’s good, too. I love the occasional and slightly melodramatic strings.
V: The more interesting aspects of the music get a bit lost here, unfortunately, but the quality’s still there, and Katja’s a presence you can’t ignore, chalking up the first of her three podium finishes (out of three). I wonder whether a Pole representing Germany was seen as a big thing at the time.

12 Ireland
B: It’s just These Are a Few of My Favourite Things, isn’t it. Or whatever it was called. I like the lyrics, but they occasionally annoy me.
A: I can see Dana’s (...but you can call me Rosemary) gap-toothed smile from here and get the immediate attraction, but I don’t completely share it, because it’s simply not that outstanding. Iconic though.
V: The French & Saunders take on this gets it so right.


And so to the points...*

1 point goes to Monaco

2 points go to Luxembourg

3 points go to Yugoslavia

4 points go to Spain

5 points go to the Netherlands

6 points go to Germany

7 points go to Ireland

8 points go to Italy

10 points go to France

and finally...

12 points go to...


The United Kingdom!


The wooden spoon is awarded to Switzerland.

*of any of the Swedish, Finnish, Norwegian, Austrian or Portuguese juries, who under a modern system would probably still have been given the right to vote despite withdrawing in a huff/being politically repressed