01 Cyprus
B: This is one of my favourites from Cyprus, with some wonderfully poetic lyrics (e.g. the entire second verse). But there’s something very not-Anglo about motherland songs, isn’t there. Where are the British entries singing the praises of Old Blighty?
A: There are some neat touches to the arrangement in this engaging, upbeat piece of music which highlight the dramatic moments. The only real letdown is the abrupt ending.
V: Competent if occasionally cheesy-in-a-good-way performance. Great opening number, which the audience clearly appreciates.
02 Turkey
B: The way the lyrics in the verses (well, verse) stretch out to the music is perfect for what they’re saying, particularly in the opening lines.
A: This is armed to the teeth with everything that makes Turkish entries at Eurovision so appealing when they’re this well produced. Wonderful arrangement. My only criticism of the song might be that its ‘chorus’ is a little pedestrian compared to the rest.
V: That and that the studio version is lyrically not as flowing or interesting to the ear as the live one. Şebnem’s lungs struggle to be contained within her diminutive frame. She looks a bit like a pixie imitating Sigourney Weaver. I’m already struggling with the rankings.
03 Norway
B: There are so many things about this that should make it so wrong, and yet I always find myself singing along, especially to the line “ingen gevær, no war, no disco”, which I feel would have made a more interesting title than San Francisco. The amount of English permitted (as with Austria) is astounding. No wonder they realised they’d have to change the rules.
A: Fantastic acoustic track. It’s just a pity that, as a genre, the whole thing is very easy to take against.
V: Tor Endresen sent shivers down my spine with his vocals on Can You Hear Me at Melodi Grand Prix back in whenever it was, and while this is a different kettle of North Sea fish entirely, the performance is still top-notch.
04 Austria
B: This has some very clever lyrics – “Die Nacht wirft einen Schatten und der ist von mir / Dein Kissen unberührt und ich noch immer hier” making a great opening line, and my personal favourite: “Liebe ist kein ungedeckter Scheck!”
A: They pack a lot into their three minutes here, musically. You don’t often hear songs that sound this ‘full’ in the contest, having said and done much more in their allotted time than you would’ve expected them to be able to.
V: One of the earliest examples in my memory of a song being set to a truly slick routine, and to great effect IMHO. Perhaps in response to the introduction of the televote? I’ve always thought it was overlooked; it’s a treat to watch. Bettina Soriat, while completely solid, is perhaps in fact the weak link, and only then if you find her voice grating.
05 Ireland
B: I’ve never felt that this had much to offer lyrically – I want to give him a wake-up slap when he claims he “got a feeling in his heart he didn’t understand”.
A: Quintessentially Irish, but while the arrangement is nice enough, it fails to set the world alight for me. They’d still be getting away with it years later.
V: Yet another wonderful performance, and Marc Roberts is very easy on the eye. I can’t help but feel though that this was rewarded for simply being as bog-standard as it could possibly be. It coming 2nd when Dreaming only managed 14th a couple of years earlier still baffles me.
06 Slovenia
B: I adore the ebb and flow and surprising softness of the lines “Tam za prazno mizo čaka vsako noč / Njena čista duša kliče na pomoč”.
A: This is almost like incidental music, and verges at times on the medieval. Mind you, the percussion and synths carbon-date it just as effectively.
V: What a complete package this is, Tanja Ribič looking for all the world like she’s stepped out of the pages of the very fairytale she’s recounting. The arrangement’s wonderful, working in complete harmony with the lyrics. Pure class that makes me want to run away to the fantasy wonderland of Slovenia at once and, as Platin would later implore, stay forever.
07 Switzerland
B: As with most Italian[-language] entries, the lyrics here have an enormous amount to offer – including a lesson for Switzerland in the line “Anche gli errori hanno il loro valore”!
A: Bit of an oddity, this: it comes across as a work in progress rather than the finished article, like there’s something missing the whole time. Which I suppose is appropriate. Fab outro.
V: You’d be hard-pressed to find fault with the performance.
08 The Netherlands
B: Dull message.
A: The music’s cleverly attuned to the lyrics but is, at times, a bit too much.
V: Following in the footsteps of One More Time, Mrs Einstein are like a mid-’90s Dutch prototype for Desperate Housewives, only with a more obvious social conscience. Great outfits, and their voices melt into this sumptuous whole. You can’t help but love their little routine.
09 Italy
B: “Mi aspetto mille scuse come sempre da te / Sei un fiume di parole dove anneghi anche me” make brilliant opening lines.
A: Clever arrangement. I prefer the edited version of this to the studio one, as it conveys the message more succinctly, which seems right under the circumstances (despite the title).
V: Alessandra is stunning, combining exquisite Italian looks with an incredible voice and a presence that fills the screen and demands your attention. For Italy to give us this and then do a disappearing act was criminal.
10 Spain
B: “Se apaga la llama, se apaga el amor / Pero el corazón siempre sentirá...” Sigh <3
A: My ex once remarked that this was one of the most boring Eurovision songs he’d ever heard, but I find it altogether wonderful. Not as inspired perhaps as some of its stablemates, but it comes across as so utterly heartfelt.
V: Aah, Marcos Llunas! What a dreamboat. Not sure about his lapels, but he has one of those voices that brings me out in goosebumps every time. No hard feelings indeed.
11 Germany
B: Scrabble alert @ ‘zurückzudrehen’.
A: The harp’s great, and the arrangement generally is very good; for their failings, Siegel and Meinunger know what they’re doing. Nice ending, too.
V: Poodle-pated Bianca’s a bit of a fashion faux pas, but she puts in another convincing performance of a song that might otherwise have threatened to fall a bit flat.
12 Poland
B: Sheer poetry. “Jestem piasku ziarenkiem w klepsydrze / Zabłąkaną łódeczką wśród raf etc etc” – the entire chorus is magic.
A: Outstanding music. You could cut the air with a knife there’s so much atmosphere.
V: All this and a powerhouse performance from Ms Jopek. Still Poland’s classiest entry, and quite possibly the best song Eurovision has ever produced. It only gets better, doesn’t it? What a year.
02 Turkey
B: The way the lyrics in the verses (well, verse) stretch out to the music is perfect for what they’re saying, particularly in the opening lines.
A: This is armed to the teeth with everything that makes Turkish entries at Eurovision so appealing when they’re this well produced. Wonderful arrangement. My only criticism of the song might be that its ‘chorus’ is a little pedestrian compared to the rest.
V: That and that the studio version is lyrically not as flowing or interesting to the ear as the live one. Şebnem’s lungs struggle to be contained within her diminutive frame. She looks a bit like a pixie imitating Sigourney Weaver. I’m already struggling with the rankings.
03 Norway
B: There are so many things about this that should make it so wrong, and yet I always find myself singing along, especially to the line “ingen gevær, no war, no disco”, which I feel would have made a more interesting title than San Francisco. The amount of English permitted (as with Austria) is astounding. No wonder they realised they’d have to change the rules.
A: Fantastic acoustic track. It’s just a pity that, as a genre, the whole thing is very easy to take against.
V: Tor Endresen sent shivers down my spine with his vocals on Can You Hear Me at Melodi Grand Prix back in whenever it was, and while this is a different kettle of North Sea fish entirely, the performance is still top-notch.
04 Austria
B: This has some very clever lyrics – “Die Nacht wirft einen Schatten und der ist von mir / Dein Kissen unberührt und ich noch immer hier” making a great opening line, and my personal favourite: “Liebe ist kein ungedeckter Scheck!”
A: They pack a lot into their three minutes here, musically. You don’t often hear songs that sound this ‘full’ in the contest, having said and done much more in their allotted time than you would’ve expected them to be able to.
V: One of the earliest examples in my memory of a song being set to a truly slick routine, and to great effect IMHO. Perhaps in response to the introduction of the televote? I’ve always thought it was overlooked; it’s a treat to watch. Bettina Soriat, while completely solid, is perhaps in fact the weak link, and only then if you find her voice grating.
05 Ireland
B: I’ve never felt that this had much to offer lyrically – I want to give him a wake-up slap when he claims he “got a feeling in his heart he didn’t understand”.
A: Quintessentially Irish, but while the arrangement is nice enough, it fails to set the world alight for me. They’d still be getting away with it years later.
V: Yet another wonderful performance, and Marc Roberts is very easy on the eye. I can’t help but feel though that this was rewarded for simply being as bog-standard as it could possibly be. It coming 2nd when Dreaming only managed 14th a couple of years earlier still baffles me.
06 Slovenia
B: I adore the ebb and flow and surprising softness of the lines “Tam za prazno mizo čaka vsako noč / Njena čista duša kliče na pomoč”.
A: This is almost like incidental music, and verges at times on the medieval. Mind you, the percussion and synths carbon-date it just as effectively.
V: What a complete package this is, Tanja Ribič looking for all the world like she’s stepped out of the pages of the very fairytale she’s recounting. The arrangement’s wonderful, working in complete harmony with the lyrics. Pure class that makes me want to run away to the fantasy wonderland of Slovenia at once and, as Platin would later implore, stay forever.
07 Switzerland
B: As with most Italian[-language] entries, the lyrics here have an enormous amount to offer – including a lesson for Switzerland in the line “Anche gli errori hanno il loro valore”!
A: Bit of an oddity, this: it comes across as a work in progress rather than the finished article, like there’s something missing the whole time. Which I suppose is appropriate. Fab outro.
V: You’d be hard-pressed to find fault with the performance.
08 The Netherlands
B: Dull message.
A: The music’s cleverly attuned to the lyrics but is, at times, a bit too much.
V: Following in the footsteps of One More Time, Mrs Einstein are like a mid-’90s Dutch prototype for Desperate Housewives, only with a more obvious social conscience. Great outfits, and their voices melt into this sumptuous whole. You can’t help but love their little routine.
09 Italy
B: “Mi aspetto mille scuse come sempre da te / Sei un fiume di parole dove anneghi anche me” make brilliant opening lines.
A: Clever arrangement. I prefer the edited version of this to the studio one, as it conveys the message more succinctly, which seems right under the circumstances (despite the title).
V: Alessandra is stunning, combining exquisite Italian looks with an incredible voice and a presence that fills the screen and demands your attention. For Italy to give us this and then do a disappearing act was criminal.
10 Spain
B: “Se apaga la llama, se apaga el amor / Pero el corazón siempre sentirá...” Sigh <3
A: My ex once remarked that this was one of the most boring Eurovision songs he’d ever heard, but I find it altogether wonderful. Not as inspired perhaps as some of its stablemates, but it comes across as so utterly heartfelt.
V: Aah, Marcos Llunas! What a dreamboat. Not sure about his lapels, but he has one of those voices that brings me out in goosebumps every time. No hard feelings indeed.
11 Germany
B: Scrabble alert @ ‘zurückzudrehen’.
A: The harp’s great, and the arrangement generally is very good; for their failings, Siegel and Meinunger know what they’re doing. Nice ending, too.
V: Poodle-pated Bianca’s a bit of a fashion faux pas, but she puts in another convincing performance of a song that might otherwise have threatened to fall a bit flat.
12 Poland
B: Sheer poetry. “Jestem piasku ziarenkiem w klepsydrze / Zabłąkaną łódeczką wśród raf etc etc” – the entire chorus is magic.
A: Outstanding music. You could cut the air with a knife there’s so much atmosphere.
V: All this and a powerhouse performance from Ms Jopek. Still Poland’s classiest entry, and quite possibly the best song Eurovision has ever produced. It only gets better, doesn’t it? What a year.
13 Estonia
B: There’s a sort of swirling weightlessness to these lyrics that envelops you like the fog they namecheck. Just not as wet or oppressive.
A: This is one of the most accomplished pieces of music Estonia has sent to the contest. The ‘improved’ ending – it was never there in the original – is the icing on the cake. Stunning.
V: Proof, if any were needed, that Maarja has [long had] one of the purist, strongest and most beautiful voices Estonia has heard. She plays a blinder here, and has only gotten better since.
14 Bosnia and Herzegovina
B: It’s funny how the lines “Potraži me u uglu svoga sjećanja / Pronađi me u zori novog svitanja” manage to reflect the beauty of what they’re saying while superficially looking so ugly.
A: Absurdly cheery for a that’s-that-then kind of song, but why not, I say.
V: Uniformly awful outfits and hairdos, but this is Bosnia at its synthesised best, if the superlative applies here. Great performance. Love the second bridge.
15 Portugal
B: I love the idea of “Juras ao luar, e a canção do mar”.
A: Lacks immediacy, this, it has to be said. Lush though.
V: Those oddly attired backing vocalists couldn’t coordinate their clicking if their lives depended on it. Add to this Ms Lawson’s butcher’s apron of an outfit and the slightly thin sound to the music and you begin to understand why it was overlooked so completely. And yet it’s a lovely song, performed – at least vocally – with conviction.
16 Sweden
B: The bridge here contains my favourite line: “Ingenting är värt nåt om inte vi finner varandra”.
A: We’re into a run of songs which are all competent in their own way but lack some of the oomph of preceding entries. This displays the Swedes’ knack of knowing how to structure a decent three-minute pop song...
V: ...and the lads clearly have a good time with it. I think it’s great they were self-deprecating enough to call themselves Blond.
17 Greece
B: There are some wonderful lyrics here: the entire chorus being an example, especially the easy rhythm of “Mes’ ap’ to soma sou, n’ anastitho”.
A: Another delightful and layered arrangement. You can hear every twang and jiggle.
V: This screams ‘Greek’ in the same way Dinle screamed ‘Turkey’, right down to the little finger cymblettes. Marianna has a sensuality about her that perfectly suits the song (and the line quoted above). Its chances were always going to be pretty much zip though.
18 Malta
B: I like the idea of clouds caressing your face with someone’s tears.
A: What we have here is yet another lovely composition, although there’s something about it that makes it not work the way it should; not sure what. The Little Drummer Boy interlude perhaps. The awkwardness of the chorus is fitting.
V: More dried molluscs being rattled in lieu of a conventional instrument. It works, and they obviously like their seafood extenders in Mediterranean music. It doesn’t help Malta coming straight after Greece, especially not with Debbie Scerri wearing that dress.
19 Hungary
B: The lines “Az éjszaka csendjében, még hallod talán / As álmokon át, úgy vigyáznék rád” are very romantic.
A: As wonderful as most of them are, there’s been very little to this point that’s seemed remotely of its time; Cyprus perhaps comes closest. So it’s nice to see Hungary trying it after its two previous entries, which were so different and provided such contrasting results. This is clearly an attempt at Take That popularism, which I don’t mind at all.
V: Hmmm, it’s a bit repetitive, but it has some great strings and oboe. (Oboe?) The blond one lets the side down.
20 Russia
B: The irony of “I svaim ustalim vzoram, karanovanim slyezoy / Glydish ti v etat zal / I slovna vidish son, no son rastayal” is perfect in hindsight.
A: From what I’ve heard, this remains one of Alla’s best and most iconic numbers, although she’s got a pretty impressive back catalogue. The song seems to have been composed around her voice, and the style of the song chosen for her and her alone. There’s a lot to like about the music.
V: She looks a sight in that outfit, and yet she wears nothing else, to this day. Brilliant performance of what is a delightful story. The audience go bonkers! This and Iceland make an unlikely couple.
21 Denmark
B: Danish is a truly bizarre language when you look at it, one that can turn lines like “Jeg trykked’ en, en, otte, ønskede, håbede” into something altogether different and more pleasant-sounding.
A: It’s a sign of the mire Eurovision was in at the time that entries that dared to exhibit anything even approaching contemporary were resolutely ignored by the juries, whatever their virtues. That said, I’m not sure this boasts a whole heap of ’em.
V: This is about as cartoonish as Denmark has ever gotten at Eurovision (besides the Aqua interval in 2001) and is loads of fun, and has an excellent orchestral arrangement.
22 France
B: “Sentiments... / Légère comme un silence / Jeu de larmes pour nuits blanches” – another wonderful set of lyrics from the French entry.
A: They’re accompanied by a complex, arresting arrangement that’s a joy to listen to. If anything, the song’s a little too reserved for its own good, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
V: Fanny is positively adorable.
23 Croatia
B: Obviously I love this because of its rhyming couplet of šlag and drag.
A: I can see why this didn’t set the scoreboard on fire: it’s complete trash. There had to be some balance for Hungary, I suppose. Unabashedly craptastic.
V: It was brave of Croatia to go with something like this, given the sobriety of many of their previous (and indeed subsequent) entries. Still, there’s no accounting for what a voting public or slap-up jury will go for. ENI do a great job if you ask me.
24 United Kingdom
B: As stuttery as this should be, it flows surprisingly well. “Let the love light carry” makes a great hook.
A: There’s something scarily Christian about this.
V: But what can you say? It’s the perfect Eurovision anthem and a very competent piece of music performed exactly as it needed to be. So why have I never liked it much? Sometimes I guess you just have to shrug and give a song its dues.
25 Iceland
B: “En samt iðrast ég aldrei neins, iðrast aldrei...”
A: See: V:.
V: Far and away the gayest thing to hit the Eurovision stage in its [then] 41-year-history. It sounds completely different live to the studio version, almost impossibly richer, and yet all the spectacle of it – rarely more enjoyable or appropriate – conceals what is an accomplished piece of writing, with music and lyrics both conveying so much meaning, helped along by some first-rate direction. Or do I just love it because it’s so queer? Tremendous ending, to both the song and the contest.
And so to the points…
1 point goes to Turkey
2 points go to the United Kingdom
3 points go to Greece
4 points go to Cyprus
5 points go to Slovenia
6 points go to Estonia
7 points go to France
8 points go to Iceland
10 points go to Italy
and finally...
12 points go to…
Poland!*
23 Croatia
B: Obviously I love this because of its rhyming couplet of šlag and drag.
A: I can see why this didn’t set the scoreboard on fire: it’s complete trash. There had to be some balance for Hungary, I suppose. Unabashedly craptastic.
V: It was brave of Croatia to go with something like this, given the sobriety of many of their previous (and indeed subsequent) entries. Still, there’s no accounting for what a voting public or slap-up jury will go for. ENI do a great job if you ask me.
24 United Kingdom
B: As stuttery as this should be, it flows surprisingly well. “Let the love light carry” makes a great hook.
A: There’s something scarily Christian about this.
V: But what can you say? It’s the perfect Eurovision anthem and a very competent piece of music performed exactly as it needed to be. So why have I never liked it much? Sometimes I guess you just have to shrug and give a song its dues.
25 Iceland
B: “En samt iðrast ég aldrei neins, iðrast aldrei...”
A: See: V:.
V: Far and away the gayest thing to hit the Eurovision stage in its [then] 41-year-history. It sounds completely different live to the studio version, almost impossibly richer, and yet all the spectacle of it – rarely more enjoyable or appropriate – conceals what is an accomplished piece of writing, with music and lyrics both conveying so much meaning, helped along by some first-rate direction. Or do I just love it because it’s so queer? Tremendous ending, to both the song and the contest.
And so to the points…
1 point goes to Turkey
2 points go to the United Kingdom
3 points go to Greece
4 points go to Cyprus
5 points go to Slovenia
6 points go to Estonia
7 points go to France
8 points go to Iceland
10 points go to Italy
and finally...
12 points go to…
Poland!*
The wooden spoon is awarded – with reluctance, given the wall-to-wall quality – to Bosnia and Herzegovina.
*Again! That's 44 out of a possible 48 points they've had off me in four years.
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